St. Patrick’s day, as we all know, commemorates Saint Patrick, patron saint of Ireland (who was born in Scotland, by the way). You can head over to this Catholic encyclopedia or the History Channel for the rest of the lore, which includes captivity in Ireland, among other things. But let’s be honest: for most of us St. Patrick’s day is, more than anything, the day of pub crawls, beer and our only chance to wear a high-top green hat without getting weird looks. So in the spirit of this jolly green holiday, we have researched and compiled the chart below. It ranks beer by, simply put, its efficiency in getting you drunk for the least calories. We got alcohol content and calorie information here, then divided alcohol content by calories per ounce and arrived at what we’ve scientifically called a beer efficiency score, then used that to nearly 130 beers. And because there is, believe it or not, such a thing as too many beers, we took some out from the mid-section (get it? ha!) and the result is below. Finally, before you take note of the beer brands that will get you drunk with the least caloric damage and head out, please remember: 1. Never drink and drive. Designate a driver or use public transportation. 2. Keep your greens safe. Carry your wallet in a zipped purse or pocket, and leave most of your credit cards at home. In fact, best to go out with an ID and only as much cash as you’re willing to spend that night. 3. Pay it forward. Buy a drink for a stranger, no strings attached, and have fun! Cheers!