OK, OK, testing 1, 2, 3... I hope this plug in works
Credits! and we open on a little kid saying goodnight to his pet turtle.
... and I'm distracted already because King has something in his mouth that he's not supposed to have. Surprise, surprise.
We're 4 minutes in and there's already a sex scene. Is this porn on Lifetime? WTF?
So, it's a Saturday night and I've decided to watch a stupid movie on Lifetime called, "You Belong to Me" and live blog during it, just for kicks. I don't know why. Maybe I'm just a masochist. I'm expecting to do a lot of yelling at the tv during this thing.
YES! This movie has a psychic in it!
I know it's early, but I'm predicting 2 deaths and no blood in this movie.
This must be the Stalker-who-dies-and-becomes-a-murderous-ghost character.
See, it's really really easy to tell the bad guys from the good guys in
Lifetime movies
This damn wine is no good. And I don't have any more. And I'm not going to go out into the cold and miss a second of this movie.
Cool dude working on a classic Corvett.Cliche count: 2
Oh no! I think the boyfriend is about to get murdered!!
Oh snap. I was right! Aaaand commercial break.|
wow. This is pretty horrible. I'm not proud of myself. It's like a cry for help, live-blogging while watching a Lifetime movie starring Shannon Elizabeth on a Saturday night. I mean, what normal person does this to themself?
... help...
We're back!
As far as stalkers go, this one is very hot. In fact, as far as the general population goes, this stalker character is very hot.
Riveting. She's about to find her boyfriend's dead body.
Is he dead? Not dead? What a gyp. He's not dead!
............
This isn't getting ridiculous fast enough for me. And there better be a real bodycount in this movie, no more of these "haha, he's not dead!" scenes.
Suspense: the stalker is IN HER BEDROOM!
WATCHING HER SLEEP!
COMMERC- commercial
Commercial for the Time Traveler's Wife on DVD. I bet I would sob like a baby during that movie.
Hallmark Valentine's Day commercial. Bite me, Valentine's Day
OK, so let me explain the plot. Shannon Elizabeth plays a single mom with a hot boyfriend and a cool job. Someone at her office is in love with her, and he's a stalking creep. But Shannon thinks that her ex-husband is stalking her and doesn't suspect the creepy but hot work guy.
Oh and there's some girl who I THINK is an au pere to Shannon's kid. Either that or she's the neglected girlfriend of Shannon... that's how I prefer to see it.
Another sexy scene. Woo-hoo!
Oh damn... this is a really risque scene. GO Lifetime!
What I can't work out yet is how this stalker dies and becomes a vengeful ghost. And I'm ashamed that I can't figure it out.
Oh, I should have seen this coming.
The boyfriend's going to kill the stalker, isn't he?
Commercial
Blah blah blah Ziploc, blah blah Ocean Spray, blah blah blah Aveeno
Attention corporate overlords! I will say your brand name on my wildly popular internet blog and you can pay me for it!
And by "wildly popular" I mean "five people at my office read it".
Local commercials are great. I saw some really awesome ones in New Orleans - one where a garbage truck turned into an alligator and ate a dumpster.
We're back. It is time for a stalker - Shannon Elizabeth confrontation.
Just date the stalker, Shannon. He's hot, you're hot. I'm sitting alone on a Saturday night with NO stalker... it's sad.
During the next commercial break, I'm going to fix myself a snack.
Oh! Stalker falls off the cliff!
The psychic is NOT a prominent part of this movie and I am disappointed.
I think this idea of mine to liveblog a crappy movie is pretty dumb, but it's like a test of my endurance now. I have an hour to go and no wine... but i won't let this movie drive me away.
Snack time!
Ugh this cookie is still really bad. WHY AM I EATING BAD COOKIES AND WATCHING BAD TV? I could have gone out tonight!
Silliness + boredom = liveblogging for attention
xter
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